Have been four bad days.
Overwhelmed and stressed.
A bad attitude.
Snapping at people.
I was “that” lady at the dentist office yesterday.
You know, the one who makes demands and freaks out and threatens to take her business elsewhere. The one on the phone for thirty minutes that they keep passing off to other employees to deal with. The one the office talks about the rest of the day.
I’m out-of-sync and out-of-sorts.
I baked bread. The Christmas gifts are wrapped and shipped. I’m supposed to feel better. But there’s tension in my neck and a headache coming on. My breath still quickens and my attitude worsens. Because the past four days aren’t the kind of bad that go away just because the Christmas shopping is done. They are the bad that come from deep distrust and fear.
It scares me how quickly I can dive back into the darkness.
I can feel encouraged.
I can feel joy.
I can feel His peace which surpasses all understanding.
And yet the darkness comes back in.
It scares me how easily the anxiety can take over.
It scares me how easily I can forget all the encouragement and joy and peace.
Please pray that I remember.