All I want for Christmas is my bottom left tooth.

If only it was Halloween.

I’d make a great pirate. Or hockey mom. Hobo. Mrs. Lovett.

But it’s Christmas and I’m toothless.

I’d been having pain. An abscess started forming around the tooth months ago. Pain! Then, I’m gonna get graphic here, the pus-filled thing popped and it started feeling better. Healed up. Happy mouth.

Then it happened again. Abscess. My dad was in town and said he’d had one before. I felt relief. It’s not-a-big-deal. We decided it was best to pop it, you know, to get rid of the bacteria. Google confirmed our inkling. Out came the pocket knife. The abscess went away. But the pain eventually came back.

Dentist time.

We don’t know what it is, they said.
Come back tomorrow, they said.
Oh you need a root canal!
Oh wait no you don’t.
Go see this specialist.
Oh and give us $80.

The specialist wasn’t sure. It looks like you have bone loss in that one tooth. Probably from some sort of trauma to the tooth. Probably from orthodontia.

Damn braces.

We are probably going to have to take the tooth out. But we’re not sure. You have to come back in.

Two months later. My show is over. We’re back from traveling. We finally get the insurance estimate.

Periodontist time.

Shots and shots of numbing. Digging and digging (in my mouth). Yup! It needs to come out. Take out the pliers. Be patient. The tooth WILL come out.

10 minutes later I’m toothless.


Implant goes in. I leave. Toothlessly.

3 months until it heals and the tooth part can get put in. Oh BJ, let’s not spend the additional $400 for the flipper.


I miss making out.

But really it’s not been that bad. Just mostly getting over the shock that I’m barely 24 and already losing teeth.

It should work out that I’ll get a little bonded tooth to put in there as a placeholder but until then…