Something Big Just Happened

Something Big Just happenedSomething Big Just HappenedSomething Big Just Happened. Pippin.Something Big Just Happened. Drowsy.


First of all, I need to get over the fact that my blog posts might not cover EVERYTHING I need to say. Often, I have a lot on my mind and heart- but I don’t write about it because it just seems too exhausting. I have too much to tell and there’s NO way I will fit it into a cohesive blog post. There’s no way people will read it. There’s no way I’ll have the time/energy/willpower to get down ALL of my thoughts…

Well, here I am trying to just go for it. I need to write more. I WANT to write more. And I need to get over the whole perfection thing.

Are you with me? You catch my drift?

With that said, today something big happened.

I unsubscribed from my Actors Access account.

Now this is the part where I would normally poop out. I have to explain what Actors Access IS. I have to explain why it’s significant I unsubscribed.

I’m already exhausted.

But I’m gonna give it a try. A brief explanation, so I can get to the meat of why this is Something Big

Actors Access is a website I’ve been a part of since moving to New York. It sends you several daily emails that tell you all the roles and shows you might be good for. It’s a resource for professional actors.

Well, I normally get 1-7 emails from them daily. And for the past six months I’ve been skimming them but then I always hit delete.

Well today, I just unsubscribed from the emails for good.

(This means I’ve changed something that’s been happening like clockwork for THREE years.)

And I did because I don’t want to be an actor anymore.

At all.

I felt this the second I got home from my summer show.

This isn’t my dream.

This isn’t my life’s work.

This is not what I am passionate about.

This does not make me tick.

This is not the career I want.

I don’t want to be an actor anymore.

Now there’s a lot, a LOT, more to say on the matter. And I hope to have the stamina to write-it-all-out. But for today, I’ll leave you with the knowledge that something big happened today.

I unsubscribed.

And I let you all know about it.



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  • Emily

    Major Kudos! It takes so much courage to admit you have/need a new dream. I hope saying it to the world makes you feel liberated! Keep writing, I’d love to hear more <3

  • Elizabeth Rondthaler Jolley

    So, I sorta did that a long time ago. Without 1-7 e-mails daily, because it was BC (before computers). I come from a family with two working parents and always just enough money, but not for fancy stuff, only for needs & a few desires. I knew this from a pretty early age. When I went to college, first kid out the door, I knew there were two more to go. I went to a private college for two years, and I learned during that time that my grandmother was paying for part of the cost. So, I felt I owed my family good grades, a good career. I was going to be a special ed teacher. I tried, but I really didn’t like it. I got a “free pass” when I married & my husband worked in the high tech industry, and he thought we should 1) have lots of kids and 2) have one parent stay at home to raise them well. It took me YEARS to deal with my guilt over not succeeding at my chosen career. Even ‘though I was a darn good at-home mother. I now call that my career, but there were many rocky times between then & now. Best of luck to you in whatever your new chosen passion is, and take a bit of advice: go into it knowing that you are not a failed actor, you are a passionate (whatever you choose)!

  • Joy King Collins

    Just joined Andrea- Court’s Mom. Marvelous thing you 2 are doing here. Got 2 prints today.I agree with Emily Great to say out loud that you don’t want to act! Takes guts to admit something like that.

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