The future is scary. The future is scary, scary, scary.
I make myself feel better by saying:
Andrea, the worst thing in the world has ALREADY happened to you. And you survived. You’re here. The future isn’t so scary. Your scariest future ALREADY happened. And you survived. You’re here.
So as I think about my future I teeter in between extreme trust and capital F Fear. I’m trying to trust more.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future.”
Who can argue with that?
So I try to trust.
The night BJ died I felt a calling to seminary.
In the weeks after I wrestled with it. I was terrified. I was unwilling. But I chose surrender.
I landed on enrolling in seminary full-time in Fall 2016.
(I said I’d never go to grad school. God works in mysterious ways.)
So 2016 was all taken care of but what about NOW? What about THIS year?
I landed on a sabbatical from life.
I thought I’d be traveling, writing, resting…
But God had other plans.
A few weeks ago, my mom mentioned a school being formed through their Oregon home church.
Two weeks ago I emailed them and said “Hey! Can I apply? I think I’d maybe like this.”
The next day I sent in an application.
The next week I went in for an interview.
Yesterday I got in.
Classes start in less than one week.
Isn’t God WEIRD?
(I don’t think God’s upset when I call him weird. I think he knows it’s my flawed, human way of saying GOD SURE THINKS OUT OF THAT BOX.)
Guys, I am going to school. On September 8. Next week.
So what can I tell you about this school?
Well first, you can find out more on the Westside School of Mission, Theology, and Worship website but basically it’s a one-year program that will teach me more about God. I like to think of it as the perfect primer for seminary. I’m going to be a part of the Theology Stream, so I will be studying the Bible intensely and academically. (Which I’ve NEVER done before.)
I’ve since realized it will be intense- more so than I imagined when I applied. School 4 days a week and then praxis on Sundays. But my thought all along was well if I get in… it might be a sign. And I thought that I can’t find out IF this is God’s will if I don’t even APPLY. So I applied. And I laid it all at God’s feet.
And then I got in.
And now I’m going.
And I’m terrified.
Pray for me?
I will essentially be a full time student for the next eleven months. This is NOT what I expected life to be. This is a lot on my plate. But God’s holding my plate, so I know I’ll be ok.
I’ll still be blogging. Still be grieving. Still be fumbling through life. But I have a Next Step.
Also, there is an opportunity to contribute to my tuition here, if you feel led. Now you’ve all ALREADY changed my life with your radical, generous donations, but if you feel called to give again, all contributions are 100% tax deductible and can be made here on Pure Charity.
No matter what, please keep reading. Please keep praying. Please follow my story and and pass along my blog to whoever you think might be encouraged by it.
Here’s to New Things and The Future.
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