A few calm and rational thoughts

 
 
 
Don’t mind me.

I’m only just

FREAKING OUT ABOUT THE FUTURE.

LIKE, FUH-REAKING OUT.

Here is how I feel today:

WHAT ARE YOU DOING, GOD?

WHAT ON EARTHHHHHHH?????

WHAT ON HEAVENNNNNNN?????????

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH MY LIFE?

WHO AM I SUPPOSED TO BE?

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO BE DOING?

WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO BE DOING IT?

I’LL DO ANYTHING I JUST WANT IT TO MATTER.

I DON’T WANT TO BE FAMOUS OR IMPORTANT OR FANCY.

I JUST WANT TO DO WHAT I WAS BORN TO DO.

I must have been born to do SOMETHING.

WELL WHAT IS IT???

 

It just feels like a lifetime of NO’S have come my way.

No to acting

No to musical theatre

No to BJ

No to New York City

No to marriage

No to babies

No to jobs

No to places

No to people

GOD, WHAT IS MY YES?

WHEN IS MY YES?

WHERE IS MY YES?

I NEED A YES.

PLEASE GIVE ME A YES.

PLEASE.

ABBA PLEASE.

I’m trying to trust you.

I DO trust you.

I just want a yes.

Please.

A yes.

 

 

Pardon the rant.

And the caps lock.

But I do feel better now.

And just imagine–

Yesterday I posted a meditation about my life’s purpose.

My life’s purpose:

To do good works.

 

How quickly I forget.

 

Will you pray for me?