Today

 
 

Today

I didn’t wash my hair.

I didn’t put makeup on.

I wore glasses because when I cry that hard my eyes get puffy and I can’t wear contacts.

 

Today

I felt unbearable pain.

Like longer he’s dead the harder life gets.

Or at least that’s how it seemed.

 

Today

I wanted to sleep all day.

I felt alone with my pain.

And when I wasn’t distracted I was unbearably sad.

 

Today

I felt all the pain, all the suffering of a dead spouse.

A dead spouse.

A dead man.

A dead best friend.

In a world of people who are so alarmingly alive.

 

Today

I felt so devastated I was single.

I felt so sure I will be alone forever.

I felt so convinced my suffering would never let up.

 

Tomorrow?

I don’t know.