Category Archives: Honesty

  I’m sober now. Clearheaded. It only took 19 months. But now I’m Andrea again, no longer a walking talking cloud of shock and grief and excess weight. The immediate shock and stun of loss has worn off and now I feel more like me than I have since he died. Except my sober self […]

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  For me, the easy thing is Grad School. It sounds weird to stay, but I know for me, for Andrea, the easy choice would be to go to grad school. The harder choice is rest. You see, I thrive in academia. I like expectations and I’m a quick reader and I’m a good essay […]

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  It’s a very interesting time for me. I’ve been preparing for Zimbabwe and I am unbelievably excited. But simultaneously there have been some Big Career and Life Decisions that needed to be made before the big trip. The biggest of which being Grad School. And I needed to decide before I left. And I […]

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  Here’s how it goes:

 I finally get my butt to a coffee shop to get some writing done And then, and only then, do I feel like crying. On the verge of tears. Mind going fuzzy. Lump in the throat. And though I’m here, ready to write, All I want to do is cry. […]

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  It’s been 313 days. 13 has always been my special number. So when I went to the little date calculator to calculate how many days I’ve lived with BJ dead, before I even plugged in the numbers I thought to myself… “I bet it’s been 313 days. Because of course it would be. Because […]

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