Category Archives: Widowed

  I’m sober now. Clearheaded. It only took 19 months. But now I’m Andrea again, no longer a walking talking cloud of shock and grief and excess weight. The immediate shock and stun of loss has worn off and now I feel more like me than I have since he died. Except my sober self […]

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  Sometimes I think to myself: All I have is books and cats and stuff. That’s it. That’s all I have in this world. Stuff. And cats. No husband. No children. No home of my own. No career or vision or guidance. I have my family. Yes, and I am so grateful for that. But […]

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  When the day comes, What are they going to say? Will they remember? Will they care? And how will I feel? ___ I feel like throwing a temper tantrum. I feel like screaming my guts out and stomping my feet and flailing my arms and letting everyone know just how damn painful it is […]

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  Here’s how it goes:

 I finally get my butt to a coffee shop to get some writing done And then, and only then, do I feel like crying. On the verge of tears. Mind going fuzzy. Lump in the throat. And though I’m here, ready to write, All I want to do is cry. […]

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  Oh grief, you keep me on my toes. Yesterday I could barely get out of bed. Today espresso shots and friends and cats meant I forgot the pain for a bit. Oh grief, you hit hard after 20 minutes at the funeral home trying to pick out memorial plaques. I thought I could do […]

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