Category Archives: Widowed

  Oh grief, you keep me on my toes. Yesterday I could barely get out of bed. Today espresso shots and friends and cats meant I forgot the pain for a bit. Oh grief, you hit hard after 20 minutes at the funeral home trying to pick out memorial plaques. I thought I could do […]

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    Today I didn’t wash my hair. I didn’t put makeup on. I wore glasses because when I cry that hard my eyes get puffy and I can’t wear contacts.   Today I felt unbearable pain. Like longer he’s dead the harder life gets. Or at least that’s how it seemed.   Today I […]

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      Don’t mind me. I’m only just FREAKING OUT ABOUT THE FUTURE. LIKE, FUH-REAKING OUT. Here is how I feel today: WHAT ARE YOU DOING, GOD? WHAT ON EARTHHHHHHH????? WHAT ON HEAVENNNNNNN????????? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH MY LIFE? WHO AM I SUPPOSED TO BE? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO BE […]

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  It’s been 313 days. 13 has always been my special number. So when I went to the little date calculator to calculate how many days I’ve lived with BJ dead, before I even plugged in the numbers I thought to myself… “I bet it’s been 313 days. Because of course it would be. Because […]

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  I once asked a group of friends why no one ever asked about BJ. This was back when it was so fresh— maybe three months. A candid conversation about grief came up and so I asked. Why doesn’t anyone ask me about BJ? I was curious– not trying to judge but just wanting to […]

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